The Structure of Personal Change

Personal change starts internally with a shift in mindset. The resulting external changes grow from this internal foundation. So now that you know where to start, how do you go about making these adjustments in your approach to life?

To really achieve personal transformation, several major stages must be crossed. Now, this doesn’t mean that change must always take place slowly, only that all significant shifts will follow this sequence, regardless of how long the process takes.

The 6 Stages of Personal Transformation

1. Awareness. Nothing will change until you’re aware that something needs to shift. This stage can occur over time. Perhaps you become aware of some nagging feeling that things aren’t as well as you’d like them to be. Maybe you notice a long held belief that no longer serves you.

1. This stage could also happen suddenly. If you recently suffered a heart attack, you’re probably very aware of necessary dietary or lifestyle changes.

2. Also, keep tabs on your negative emotions. They’re often your subconscious attempting to provide you with awareness of needed changes.

3. Examination. After becoming conscious that something isn’t quite right, some thought needs to take place. You might start by asking yourself these questions: “What’s wrong? Why do I feel this way? What needs to change? Does anything really need to change? Can I live with this the way it is?”
   

4. Intention. If the process passes the examination phase, we then may enter into intentionality. A decision has been made to change and the intention is there to remove a belief or behavior and replace it with a more appropriate alternative.

5. In many ways, this is the most powerful step. At this point you’ve truly decided to change and to replace something old with something new. With enough intention, nearly anything is possible.

6. Action. However, only with action do you actually begin to experience change. At this point, you’ve already come a long way. You’ve taken what may have started as a dull sense of discomfort and given it a name and a face.

7. You might even feel more uncomfortable now than you did in Step 1; now you’re more aware of what’s going on. If you’re feeling helpless about a situation, bear in mind that this is frequently the result of reaching Stage 4 but then failing to take any action.

8. Improvement. As you discover what works for you, your initial actions may be inadequate or incorrect. When changing yourself, a fine-tuning process occurs until a sufficient solution is found. This is largely trial and error. You simply keep making adjustments to your approach until you hit on an effective solution.
   

9. Integration. This stage may take some time; new habits can require some effort before they take hold. At the completion of this step, you’ve fully adopted the new belief or behavior. The initial discomfort that started the whole process should be gone now, since the cause of that uneasiness has been alleviated.

Having a fundamental awareness of these steps will help you go from experiencing emotional discomfort to feeling whole and satisfied. The next time you get a nagging feeling that something isn’t right, take the time to examine your emotions. Do this every time you feel something negative, and you’ll grow into the person you always dreamed of being.

What To Do When You Have More Than You Can Handle

Life is a series of challenges to be managed. In between challenges, life can seem easy, but the next challenge is always on the way. When faced with too many challenges at once, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and to believe that you have more going on in your life than you can handle.

Regardless of the size or the number of challenges you may face, the solution is the same: Ignore those things you can’t influence and spend your time and energy implementing solutions for those things you can influence.

A level head, a solid plan, persistence, and assistance can overcome any challenge life may bring.

Try these strategies to lighten your load:

1. Acknowledge that you’re feeling overwhelmed. There’s nothing to be gained by ignoring your situation. You’ll be in a better position to deal effectively with your life when you acknowledge the reality of the situation. When you recognize that something is wrong, you can begin to do something about it.

2. Take a time out. If you’re at work, slip away for a quick walk. If you have the freedom to do so, try taking a weekend trip. A change of scenery can make the challenges in your life seem more manageable.

3. Make a plan. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s easy to spend too much time focusing on the challenges in your life. While this is a natural response, it leads to feeling even worse! Rather than focusing on your issues, try focusing on solutions.

1. Imagine your friend was facing the same challenges, what advice would you give to them?

2. Make a plan to move beyond your current situation. What solutions can you find? How will you implement them?

3. A simple change of focus can alter your perspective and your mood. Do you think you’ll feel better focusing on your problems or the solution?

4. Distract yourself for a few hours. Read a good book or take a friend to the movie theater. Now is the perfect time to do all the things you usually do to avoid working!
   

5. Talk to someone. You could speak to a coworker, a friend, family member, or a mental health professional. Who would you call on in your life to talk you down off a ledge? Pick up the phone and include someone else in your current situation.

6. List the good things in your life. Things might be rough at the moment, but there are plenty of things in your life that you can be grateful for. Make a list of them and reflect on the many blessings in your life.
   

7. Laugh. Few things feel better than laughing. What makes you laugh? Rent a funny movie or spend time with someone that always finds a way to make you giggle. Who is the funniest person in your life?
   

8. Get some help. More heads and pairs of hands can get a lot more accomplished than you can all by your lonesome. Most people are pretty bored and would jump at the chance to help you deal with your drama. Get some help.

You have plenty of options when you think you have more to deal with than you can handle.

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. When life becomes especially challenging, feeling overwhelmed can dampen your spirit and hide the best solutions from you.

Admit to yourself that you’re struggling and begin looking for solutions. Allow yourself a few distractions when you need them. Reach out to others and avoid trying to solve everything on your own. Soon, you’ll be back on a more enjoyable path.

15 Questions to Ask Yourself to Discover Your True Passions

If you’re lucky, you’ve already discovered many of your passions and get to spend much of your time enjoying things that bring you excitement and joy. However, maybe you’ve not yet connected with activities, skills, and interests that ignite your passion.

It takes time, soul-searching, and some life experience to identify your true passions. These prompts are written to tap into your wants, needs, desires, and fantasies. Have fun with them and discover what you can add to your life that will fill it with delight.

1. What’s the one thing I’ve always wanted to do? Consider what would need to happen in order for you to carry through with this long-sought wish. Make a plan and get started.
   

2. If I could spend today doing whatever I desire, what would it be? Let your mind go. It could be something related to your work, your home, or simply a lark.
   

3. Where do I really want to live? What city and what type of residence? Perhaps you’re already fulfilling this passion and you do live in your true first choice. If not, ponder the possibilities of moving to a place you’ll love.
   

4. Where would I like to visit? Perhaps you’re harboring a secret yearning to visit Washington, D.C. or Westminster Abbey in London. The streets of Hong Kong may be calling your name or even the Grand Canyon. Can you make it happen?
   

5. What do I talk about doing but never do it? In a conversation, you might state something like, “For the last 10 years, I’ve really wanted to take a cruise to the Caribbean.”
   

6. What are the reasons I don’t go after my dreams? Explore within yourself why you haven’t pursued the life you want. Can you do something differently to help bring your dreams to life?

7. How will I finish the sentence, “More than anything, before I die, I want to ___________?” Say it out loud and fill in the blank. Then, figure out a way to accomplish your wish.

8. What are the things in my life that I would like to get rid of? If you’re discovering you don’t love everything about your life, maybe it’s time to do some “housecleaning.” Make a list of the ways you’d like your life to change.

9. Which people in my life inspire me and why? It’s important to know who inspires you so you can spend more time with them. What is it about them that lights you up so much? Decide to take every step to be inspired more often.

10. If I were to make just one radical change in my life right now to make life better, what would it be? Your answer to this question will really open up your possibilities. Moving to a bigger city might really spice up your life. Getting more education might be a goal—plus you’ll likely make more money.

1. You’ll be happier if you chase your dreams. Make 1 change.

2. How do I feel when I put all my effort into accomplishing one of my goals? Notice these feelings. You’ll no doubt want to experience them more often.
   

3. How do I feel whenever I achieve a life goal? Awesome, probably.

4. What’s missing from my life? Answering this question requires considerable soul-searching.

5. Who are my biggest supporters? It’s wise to know the people that will stand behind you and help you pursue your passions, no matter what.

6. Who gets in the way of me achieving my goals? In order to find your true passions, you might be required to disengage from those who wish to counteract your efforts.

If you take the time to thoroughly ponder each of these questions, you’ll be pleased with what you discover. Your true passions are inside you, just waiting to be let loose to bring you excitement, joy, and fulfillment.